A few years ago, I
attended a Loving Kindness Retreat at the picturesque Dzogchen Beara in County
Cork, Ireland. It was typical of the Dzogchen Beara retreats: idyllic
landscape, expert teachers, a group of mismatched students bonding beautifully. We were held in the space and for those few
days we gazed with our eyes partially open, upon the wild Atlantic. We even
launched ourselves and our mismatched underwear into the freezing waves. It was
one of those retreats where, communally, we reignited our sense of purpose, of
knowing and trust, and of seeing ourselves, once again as children.
It was toward the end of
our second day, after our exhilarating ocean swim and after much laughter, that
we sat for afternoon Loving Kindness meditation. I was in the zone of complete
happiness and ease, minding my own business and meditating joyfully when I caught
on fire. I’m not talking about a few
ripples of blissful sensations but a palpable, roaring energy that exploded
from my deep spine and gushed out of my solar plexus, my heart, throat, forehead
and crown – literally every cell of my body that was within awareness was on
fire.
I felt the incineration
of dense energy and in retrospect an almost inevitable release of earthy,
sensual energy – it was ecstatic. That energy was so enormous I wondered at the
time if my meditation crew were looking at me sideways as wave upon wave crashed
through me.
It was during those long beautiful
moments that there seemed to be every possibility, every open door, a liberated
beginning with no end.
It took a few years to
embody this energy, to feel full, open and connected. The experience, has
somehow lessened my ego and connected me to the majestic nature of all things. Which
is why in Spring, when the flowers open, and earth to be dug, that I’m all
sexed up, lifting my face to the sun, and leaning on the spade. It seems I am
constantly coming home to my yoga practice, of rebirth, of release and
reconnecting.
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